Like Holding Water

My parents and I had a really long talk last week. right after i posted the last entry, we had this thing. they said that since i was still discerning, i should start experiencing everything there is to experience in life in order to really ground the decision i make about becoming a priest.

They said that i should still be open to the rest of the world before i make drastic decisions. they were right. i think that i should experience the world more before i decide on things so big as to become a priest. but the idea still lies in my mind and in my heart. there is still that fire burning.

During the past few weeks, i've been starting to really control myself. every time i commit one of the 7 deadly sins, i put a mark on my notebook. i made San Alberto Hurtado's technique a reality. he also did that when he was discerning.

I've finally told her my feelings. i compressed those four years of untold feelings into about 30 minutes, and at the same time i told her that i was thinking about becoming a Jesuit.

Saying those words and talking to her like that really helped me in opening my heart to really falling in love with another, yet i may have done that because she might be the only reason why i might not be able to continue priesthood. either way, i still feel really relieved.

Now that i've finally let her go; let the fish out of the cage; the bird out of the aviary; i can finally really find that other without having to compare the other to her;the fish;the bird. (Gets mo?)

Maybe my parents were right. i may be thinking about it too fast. but i can really really see it in my heart. the embers of Gods love are strong within me. strong to the point that i can hear his voice. calling me. telling me to go to the seminary and serve. i have the feeling that the true will of God for me is to become a priest. i believe that i will really enjoy the whole priesthood. i believe that my Lord is calling me there. still, i want to fall in love. i want to really have a really real relationship with someone special. she might be just around the corner, or right under my nose. i'll never know. God knows my plan. He knows that i want to experience things first before i make the "this is really is it" decision.

Thats why i let go of my feelings for her. thats why i want to fall in love. thats why i love God.

Thank You Lord...

For always being by my side, for always listening to my short prayers, for always giving me the right answers(even if its not always positive), for always helping me and my loved one's when we are in need, for always guiding me towards Your love, for always showing me the light of Your hand when I am in the darkest corner, for giving me the capability to love others and You, for making my amateur dreams come true, for teaching me how to serve Your name and wholeness willingly, for being just, for being forgiving, for being kind, for being superior, for being wise, for being everything in my life, for loving me, and for walking by my side. Thank you...

I'm going to be a priest.



For the longest time, I never had any idea on what I would do when I grew up or on what I'd be doing in the next 10-15 years. Maybe fantasies but not realistic. I used to want to become a Doctor, but i failed Biology, then a musician, but I realized that i have to have a decent pay, then a lawyer, but I think I be too lazy to study about laws, but to become a Priest? No way. I didn't even believe in God for a few years in highschool. All that has changed though.



In college, I joined the church choir. I don't know why, but for some reason, i was drawn there. something kept on pulling me to join. Of course some of my friends invited me, but i still had the feeling that i was being pulled to join the choir.



I have been in the Sub Dominant 7 for 6 months now and counting. In those six months, i realized a lot of things. the most important realization of all is that everyday in our lives, there is a small miracle happening. unnoticed by many because everyone is to preoccupied to watch. The mas tells us the story of the life of Jesus, and relates This story to our lives. Since His life was of miracles, so is ours. we just have to believe.



I decided that i will become a priest someday. I realized that my service in the choir may be fulfilling but there must be a way to be of deeper service.

I go to mass everyday. i get to know Jesus better and i get to understand myself better. Believing is so good. to know with all confidence that you are beside Him, that is the Christian faith.



The other night, it was raining, and i was looking for a jeepney ride home. three jeepneys have already passed and people were starting to crowd outside the central 911 office in Ponciano street. since there were already so many people, i assumed that a big number of these people were also going to Ma-a. So i prayed. I prayed the Our Father and said "Lord, pahingi naman ng jeep. Ulan man gud tapos daghan naman mi. Please. nya akua lang front seat. bahala na guot bsta maka uli na mi tanan. salamat Lord." i said this prayer with a smile on my face knowing that He was listening.



After a few moments (not minutes), not one, but TWO jeeps arrived! Not only that, they were EMPTY.



It is in these kinds of small miracles that God shows us how he loves us. I asked for one, He gave me two. He loves us more than we can ever love him, because the amount of love we can ever offer is always returned to us twice as much. that is how much He loves us, and that is the reason why i am answering his call.

A Family, A Home

To the SubDom People and our Family...


Sa lahat ng pagmamahal na ipinakita ninyo sa amin ng mga kabatch ko, salamat. I think i speak for batch 28 when I say thank you and we love you all so much.


Ito naman, Aking personal Message na...

To my dearest fellow Subdomers,

Thank you so much for showing me what a great FAMILY the Sub Dominant 7 really is. Every moment I Spend with you people is like a sweet summer breeze that only comes once a year. Every note we sing together is the key to our success, not only as a choire, but also as a family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Before Subdom, I was so alone. Walang patutunguhan halos araw araw. Lagi nalang akong nawawalan ng magawa. Tapos d pa talaga ako nagasimba. Gets niyo? I feared nothing, not even the Lord. But now, I have that faith back, and thats all because of Subdom. Dahil sa Subdom, natutunan kong mahalin Ang Diyos ng tapat talaga to the max. Sky's the limit. Minsan kung Bored na bored na talaga, i'll go somewhere to drink, kahit ako lang isa, ganun ako ka worthles lump... hahaha!!! but all that is gone now.

You all are great people, and I've seen all of that goodness in all of you. I've never memorized over 30 names in one day, ganun ko kayo lahat ka love. Kuyaw kasi na mention ko lahat ng mga pangalan ng mga people na nasa GS... Newbies and oldies alike... hahah!!! Dba? How could I forget the names of the people who've changed my life?

Thank you for giving me another great family to call my own, and for giving me a shelter where I am safe... God Bless to all of you and "may the abs be with you."

Me... Me.... ME!!!!

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Indis

In our world today, many things are changing. Now fortunately for us – mass com students – one of the most highly developed things known to man is the mass media – from text messaging to 10.5 mega pixel Digital SLR cameras. Everything! Because of this, is it safe to say that the people in the mass media industry should be the one’s who are educating the people in our country?

Everyone watches the movies. Everyone watches films and teleseryes and commercials. So that means the movie industry and the film industry, along with the television industry, should be the one’s who are actually educating our people, am I right? Filipinos – in particular – are now turning into a dim-witted race. The funny thing here is that our intellect, through the years, is exponentially deteriorating. Somebody should do something about this, and since the mass media is available to everyone, they should be the one’s who are reeducating our people, our nation, our homeland. Even some of our Government officials are stupid, what more are the poor, uneducated Filipinos living in the streets and begging for extra change?

In the Philippines, there is such a large amount of people who wholly support the Mainstream Filming industry – industries such as Viva Films, ABS-CBN, GMA, Star Magic, etc. The people in our country love these because of the actors and actresses playing the leading roles of the characters in the movies and because of the themes such movies possess (even if the theme has been used over and over and over again). But the question here is that if they learn anything from them, anything critical or anything that shows them the truth about many things around them? Maybe they do, but not as much as they should. Mainstream movies have very shallow themes and very little educational and academic information. They’re all entertainers, and not educators. Shouldn’t the media be a medium of educating others? Shouldn’t it be able to express more educating than entertaining? In the filming industry, the real target of the artists, directors, producers and staff is to be able to entertain the public, so that they can capture their attention, and to educate, once the attention is in the palm of their hands. They have to be able to teach good morals to those people in our country and not just show us how Aga Mulach and Anne Curtis Fell in love in a Beach, or how Vhong Navarro Got to be Lasticman. Love is not a lesson to be taught, isn’t it? Isn’t a thing like love something that is taught to us by the world itself, by our experiences in life and by the trials and failures we have made?

In independent Films, they tackle more serious topics about the world around us, and the events that are happening in our country – may it be a current issue or otherwise. In these films, they aim to really educate the people and to entertain them as well. They have their target market and they try to really capture them, but unfortunately, they don’t get to always get what they want. Independent films have deeper and more serious issues in their content. They try to show the lessons in ways that are obvious and at the same time entertaining.

So should we balance the support between the mainstream and independent movies? No! We should actually turn the tide. Because the strength of the mainstream now is so impenetrable that even if we support both at an equal level, the mainstream will still be the one which the people will prefer to watch.

There are so many good independent films in our country. They may not have actors and actresses as good as those in the mainstream industry, but the things they try to get across are very well thought of, factual and honest.

The Beerkada... ASTIG BAI!